Gone?
by KittyVampireMouse
Summary: Negan's favorite girl is no where to be seen upon his return to the sanctuary, and as panic begins to set in he wonders...What if she's gone? Negan/you Really cute in a Negany way! Only warning is for Negan's potty mouth.


Hope u guys enjoy this Negan x reader one-shot!  
"Gone?"  
(Negan pov)  
It had been a looong day of fighting both the dead and the living. Some of the groups still had to be put in their place, but it usually wasn't anything that a humorous threat couldn't solve. Other than a few loosey goosies here and there the run had been overall successful. Food in their bellies, supplies for the Sanctuary, and guns for the amorey. Yep… a good day if he did say so himself. And he did, with a little grin.  
With a bit of a pep in his step, he headed upstairs towards the wives' parlor room; Lucille swinging almost giddley in his grasp.  
"Well, hello ladies," he drawled out as he practicling swung himself through the open doorway. They all turned at the sound of his voice, knowing that when Negan entered a room it was best to pay attention.  
Sauntering over to the bar, Negan poored himself a glass of scotch and tossed it back with a gulp. He chuckled as he wiped the moisture from his lips. Sharry approached cautiousley. It was very rare that their leader was in such a good mood, and the last thing that she wanted was to accidentally set him off.  
"Good day?" she inquired.  
He replied with a full toothed smile, "Hell of a fucking good one! Almost perfect, except for a few loose ends. But, Lucille can handle that kinda shit, heheh!"  
Sharry had to keep herself from rolling her eyes at his crude comments. She knew that the other wives would agree in that they didn't want to know what Negan got up to when he wasn't around.  
Breathing out an exaggerated sigh, Negan rolled his shoulders allowing tight muscles and sore joints to strech and pop. "Yep," he said; popping the p at the end,"I believe a massage from one of my beautiful fucking wives will do me some good right before bed."  
He almost laughed when they all went suddenly silent. He wasn't bad to them, but he knew that any one of them would drop him, given the chance to do so. However; he couldn't keep himself from needling them. "Aaaw, now don't all speak up at once."  
"It's Y/N's night," Amber's quick whisper broke the silence and all eyes turned to her hunched form on the couch. Hearing Negan's happy chuckles, Sharry turned to face him with a glare.  
"Well, I guess tonight's gonna end up pretty fucking perfect. AFTER. ALL," he said emphasizing every word. With that he drug his tongue over his teeth until his lips landed in a devilish smirk. His version of a fuck you to Sharry. Pushing off from the bar he strutted out the door and down the hall, whistling as he went.  
Closer to his room was a narrow door that lead to the only other room up there. Y/N's room. She hadn't liked the idea of staying with the other wives so she had begged him for her own room, and it was getting to where he had a rediculously hard fucking time saying no to that woman. And, it was getting worse as he spent more time around her. The other wives simply sat in the parlor all day and were as content as could be wether he came around or not. But, he had known Y/N was different the moment he met her.  
Since her agreeance to being his wife about two years ago; she had convinced him to give her her own room, let her accompany him on his dailey walk abouts, show her how to use a gun and knife, and she's even cleaned Lucille a time or two.  
She has him so God damn wrapped around her cute, little fucking pinky finger that he can feel the collar pulling tight around his neck every now and then. Oddly enough, he's grown rather used to and maybe… a bit fucking fond of the feeling. Giving in to Y/N's little demands reminded him of a simpler time that he usually didn't like to be reminded of.  
Raising Lucille from her perch on his shoulder, Negan tapped the bat in a knocking motion on the metal door. "Open the fuck up, baby doll! Haha, you have the honor of dealing with my gorgous self tonight," he chuckled.  
… No answer.  
Blinking in confusion, he tried again. Knocks a little harder; the bangs echo through the quiet hall. "Doll! Are you napping in there!?"  
… Silence.  
Grumbling curses under his breathe, Negan throws his weight into the door shoving it open and almost breaking it. He's stopped short when he sees that the room is empty. The bed is made with no one in it, the bathroom door is flung open with no body inside, and the whole room is dead silent except for his breathing.  
Heaving a heavy sigh and running his hand through his hair, Negan walks out of the bedroom and down to his own. He opens the door and begins pulling off his jacket, scarf, and propping Lucille up against the wall.  
A large relief falls over his mind as he realizes that he knows where Y/N is, now.  
Back when she'd first moved into her room next to his, she had bad insomnia. And since he couldn't very well have her fucking wandering around the damn Santuary at God knows what fucking hour, he'd offered her to sleep in his room so that she wouldn't be alone. Thinking now, he couldn't really remember when it had gone from Y/N crashing on his couch to her now crawling into his bed every other night. Now days if he didn't find her in her room at about this time of day it meant that she had snuck into his for an earley nap. He couldn't count how many times she had been waiting for him, whenever he got home. No one else ever waited or even cared if he got home at all.  
A small smile tugged at his lips as he walked over to his bedroom door. He knew that he'd find Y/N curled up in his blankets and hugging his pillow just like he always did when she'd chosen to spend the night with him.  
"You better have something fucking good for me in return for having to play hide and seek with your ass, doll!" he joked; pushing the door open.  
The door creeked open and his smile slowly left his face. The bed was empty and made as he had left it this morning. The bathroom door was open, revealing that it too was vacant. The room hadn't been touched, which meant that Y/N had not been here.  
She wasn't here. She wasn't in her room. He didn't know where she was!? WHERE THE FUCK WAS SHE!?  
Breathing heavy and labored, Negan turned and sprinted out of the room; knocking Lucille over in the process. But, he didn't notice. He had to find Y/N! She wasn't where she was supposed to be; she wasn't where she always was!  
He jolted to a stop in front of the wives' parlor. They all jumped when he slammed the door open. He was huffing and puffing from anger, exhaustion, and … fear.  
"WHERE IS SHE!?"  
The women only looked at him with fear and confusion. They didn't know what he was talking about.  
He roared, "Y/N! WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE!?" He was losing his grip on what little patience he had.  
They all trembled, afraid that this was going to end in bloody punishment. Thankfully, Sharry stepped up. "We don't know. We havn't seen her all day."  
The air left Negan's lungs. His shoulders slumped as he ran through a million thoughts in his head. The wives didn't know where Y/N was. No one else in the Santuary really knows Y/N, so none of the regular workers would be able to tell him where she'd gone, either. And, the only savior who knew her was Simon, but he had been on the run wih Negan today.  
He didn't know where she was! And he had no way of finding out!  
With one thought in his head, Negan stormed out of the parlor and ran down the hallway until he reached the kitchen. It was around supper time so the big cafeteria was crowded with people waiting to be served and the cooks who worked in the back. Just a normal night. That is, until the big bad leader comes sprinting into the room looking like a ghost was on his tale.  
After placing himself in the middle of the crowded mess hall, Negan almost choked on his own breath as began to shout. "Y/N!"  
He was hyperventalating, and clawing his hands through his disheveled hair as he continued to search the crowd in a panic. "Y/N! FUCK, BABY DOOOOLLL!?" Everywhere he looked he saw faces fucking staring at him. Some that he recognized, some that he didn't. But it didn't fucking matter, because none of them were Y/N.  
Taking one last wheezing breathe and preparing to scream his lung out, Negan gave one final call. "Y/N!"  
"Negan!"  
His head jerked in the direction of the sound. When his dark eyes met hers through the crowd, Negan felt as if gravity itself was forcing him towards her. He ran. He ran until he reached her and when her tiny body knocked into his chest he quickly locked his arms around her.  
With shaky breathes, he pulled back so he could look at her. Y/N was smiling like she always did whenever Negan would hug her or kiss her. Not a care in the world. But at the moment, he felt as if the world had just fucking shattered. And, he was still trying to put the pieces back together.  
Bringing his hands up to cup her face, to touch, to reassure himself that she was there; Negan let out a shaky breath, "W..Where the fuuck were you?"  
Y/N cocked her head, brow raised. Her wide eyes full of the innocence of a puppy. "I was with Simon," she answered. Her voice was low, worried that she might further upset Negan.  
Just then, Negan realized that Simon was standing behind Y/N with a look of concern. With a small smile; the savior explained,"She found an apple tree just outside the gates. She came and grabbed me just as soon as we got back. We went and picked a few to bring back to the kitchen." Sure enough, Simon was holding a small whicker basket full of green apples.  
A big smile broke out on Y/N's face as she looked back at Negan. He felt her arms hug him tight as she spoke animatedly. "Me and Simon even found a bunch more trees! He said that if we could fence off that little space of woods that we could have our own orchard!"  
Her eyes were shining with excitement; she was so proud of herself. Negan could practically feel her bubbling happiness, and that had him smiling back at her. But, he could tell that his face was strained.  
After noticing this, Y/N suddenly fell serious. "Negan?" she asked; her head tilting in that inquiring way.  
"Y-yeah, baby doll?" he was still shaking; but his full attention was zeroed in on her.  
Eyes pleading, she gently intwined her tiny fingers with his own. "Can we go home?"  
In that moment, he would have given her anything. Hell, he would have given her anything at any fucking moment. So, with a tired sigh of both relief and exhaustion; he simply nodded his heavy head. Tightening his hold on her hand, Negan turned to lead them out of the crowded cafeteria when he realized that everyone was staring. "WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK ARE YOU ASSHOLES LOOKING AT!?" Of course, this quickly sent everyone into minding their own buisness.  
Shaking his head, Negan quickly lead Y/N through the halls and up the stairs until they reached his room. He closed and locked the door, not wanting any interruptions lest he kill somebody. He wasn't exactly feeling his fucking fittest at the moment.  
"Lucille!" the squeel made him jerk around until he saw Y/N picking his prized possesion up off of the floor. "What are you doing on the ground?" she said as she held the barbed bat with gentle hands. Negan was always amazed at the amount of respect that Y/N showed Lucille. She didn't know how or why the weapon was so important to him, but all that matters was that it was. So, he could only stare wide eyed as she carefully placed the bat in it's designated spot. The chair by the window that nobody used.  
Honestly, Negan couldn't remember if he'd knocked Lucille over or not. He had been in a fucking panic like no other. He felt bad that he hadn''t even thought to pick her up.  
"Ready for bed?" asked Y/N as she turned away from Lucille. She could tell that something had been bothering him. Something major. But, she also knew that Negan would rather chew a pinecone than tell her. So, her best bet was to get him into bed and get him relaxed. She didn't like how on edge being the leader made Negan.  
"Um …yeah," he answered with a small nod. After the huge emotional cataclysm he'd just been through, his body and brain were a bit numb as the reconstruction was going on.  
Y/N giggled at his slow ass reply, before waltzing over and taking his hand in hers. "Let's go then. I'm pretty tired too," she said as she lead him to the bedroom. Negan followed; again, too fucking numb to really do anything else.  
Just like all the times that they had slept together before, they were completely comfortable with each other. Y/N stripped out of her day clothes and stole one of his white t-shirts that landed just bellow her ass. Too hot to sleep in anything more, really. Meanwhile, Negan lost everything but his tight fitting, black boxers. They both crawled into the huge bed. Him on the right side that had always been his, and her on the left that she had gradually claimed as hers.  
After flicking the lamp off, Negan felt a tug on his bare shoulder. He knew what she wanted, and sure enough, when he rolled over to face her in the dark he could still see her arms thrown out towards him. Reaching for him with adoration in her eyes.  
When his only reply was a cocked brow, Y/N stuck out that bottom lip and did her best God damned impression of a kicked puppy. She was fucking cheating!  
"Please, I need it,"she whispered; which actually meant that she thought that he needed it. And after the mother fucking day that he had had, he sure as shit needed it. However; he was not going to fucking admit that to anyone. So, Negan answered with an indignant grunt, "Fine."  
Y/N smiled as he crawled over her; the bed dipping comfortingly beneath their combined weight. Negan finally let himself settle into her embrace. His head rested comfortably on her chest, just above her breasts. Their bodies were alined and pressed together from the stomach down. She held him close, arms wrapped around his neck. Small hands running absentmindedly through his hair. And, he held her even closer. Arms looped around her waist, pulling her tightly against his body.  
As he laid there with his ear pressed to her soft skin, listeneing to her steady heart beat; Negan thought about how bad today could have gone. It had turned out to be nothing but a shit ton of bad timing, but what if it hadn't been?  
When he hadn't found her in her room, Negan had immediately felt that tug of worry in his guts. He hadn't liked it either, but it passed rather quickly. However; when he didn't find her in his room either, his brain had jumped to the worst fucking conclusion. Y/N had been gone, and Negan had had no way of finding her. How was he supposed to have known if she was hurt or not? There was no way for him to fucking know, and he really hated that. He also hated how quickly he'd flipped his shit.  
Negan couldn't really describe the feeling because he can fucking remember the last time he'd felt anything like it. But, It had felt like an ice pick was slowly clawing into his chest. Like he'd had a fucking noose around around his throat. Like all of the bones in his body were too fucking heavy to move. He'd felt … hopeless. Fucking hopeless!  
What if instead of Simon being with Y/N, he had come back alone? What if he had told Negan that she had run away?! What if she had gotten killed on a run?! Or … what if she had been bitten?!  
"Negan?"  
The voice was quiet but it still made him jump. He was fucked and he knew it.  
Y/N continued to speak still petting his head all the while. "I'm sorry for goning out today, but I took Simon with me just like you told me to."  
Great. Now, she thought that she was in trouble. "I know baby doll. And I'm real fuccking proud of you for following my rules. But, do you think that you can follow one more?" he asked with his head still lying on her chest. Negan didn't think he could face her with the level of fucking embarrassment that he was at.  
He felt her face nod against the top of his head. "You can ask me for anything, Negan," she replied with pure sincerity. She knew that he always gave her what she wanted without thought, so it was only right to offer the same to him.  
God fucking damn, did his name sound sweet on her lips!  
"Fr-from now on, I want you tell somebody when you go out. I don't care if it's me when I'm here or Sharry when I'm fucking not. Just somebody, so that I can find out where you're at. K?" Negan groweled at the fact that the situation had shook him so badly. He was supposed to be a mother fucking leader for Christ's sake! Unaffected, in control, and fucking heartless!  
"K," she replied as she yawned, "Were you worried?"  
Negan's head popped up to face Y/N, his dark eyes met hers. Worried? That was a stupid fucking meaningless word that should have no place in his vocabulary after all the shit that he's been through. But…. yes. He had been worried. Worried out of his fucking mind, when he couldn't find her. Worried, when he'd thought that she was gone.  
"Yes" he said softly, before just letting his head drop back down to her chest. Negan just felt raw, and so he simply goes limp in her hold. Not wanting to think, at all.  
A couple minutes of blessed fucking silence later is broken by a quiet whisper.  
"I love you, Negan."  
A content sigh left his lips when he felt a light kiss pressed to his forehead. Just like she always did after a rough day. Comforting him, and he never even thought of all of the fucking awsome things that he would miss about her if Y/N was gone.  
He placed his lips against her collarbone and released a quiet breath. "Well, I don't know when or how or fucking why; but I love you too, sweetheart."  
A little laugh escaped her mouth, and Negan knew that she had probably just been waiting on his stubborn ass to say something. She was smart like that. But she gave him the time to come to the realization on his own, because she knows that he had to accept the fact that he could still care about shit in this fucked up world.  
And,Negan did care about her. Haha! He fucking loved her! And today was just a small taste of how fucked he'd be without her.  
THE END  
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